I need to write.
I need things to be different this time.
I need to approach this differently from every angle this time.
S and I got back together in March. He dumped me again Labor Day weekend.
I had a bit of a nervous breakdown a couple weeks ago. Wanted to check myself into a mental hospital because I just didn’t feel okay mentally or emotionally.
I have been attempting to put myself back together over the past month. It’s been hard.
I haven’t felt like doing anything except escaping my own reality by reading insane amounts of books, watching movies I’ve seen a gazillion times and drinking alcohol.
So I am forcing myself to write. I am forcing myself to talk to boys. I am forcing myself to get out of the house and out of my bed. I am forcing myself. Because I don’t want to be this person anymore. I don’t want to be hung up on S anymore.
This is my first genuine attempt at moving on from him. We haven’t talked and I have no desire to text him or call him.
That was the last time I will allow him to break my heart.
