I am officially serious about not having any contact with S. I feel so much more sane when there is zero contact and I could really use a mega break from feeling crazy, srsly. Our biggest downfall is texting. So…

1.) No texting about the dogs.
2.) No texting him about bands I think he would like. He can find bands on his own, duh.
3.) No random, witty texts about things I assume he would think are funny.
4.) No drunk texts (this one surprisingly isn’t usually too hard. I am typically too hammered to even be thinking about my phone)
5.) No texts about things I miss/ appreciate about him
6.) No responding to his texts (if he sends any, which he probably wont)
7.) No phone calls (which is a rarity, so should be fairly easy)

I am going to TRY and avoid going to his facebook page, but right now I just can’t commit fully to that. It’s hard to go from full fledged stalker to zero. I could definitely deal with not going to the ginger girls page that he is dating. Maybe I’ll tackle that one first.

I am going to a lake house up North in a college town near Vancouver BC the first weekend in Feb. and S is supposed to watch the dogs, but I think I am going to try and find someone else to watch them. I don’t know how many options I have because a lot of my friends are coming to the lake house with me, but it’s probably the healthiest thing I could do.

Srsly, it’s been like 8 months since we broke up. Yes, he strung me along for quite some time (up until a couple months ago), but this is just getting ridiculous. My besty scolded me yesterday for it. I feel like I haven’t really made a genuine attempt at moving on. I have always, in the back of my alcohol saturated brain, been hoping for a change of heart on his end. God dang, I STILL kind of am, and those are the thoughts I need to put the kibosh on.

Boy that I’m not very interested in called me last night and asked if I wanted to go to his family house up in the mountains…with him and his flipping DAD. Now, the town is actually pretty bad A. It’s a small faux German town where people drink a lot of beer and get hammered. My kind of town, right? But with his dad? Really? His Christian, Republican dad that is super conservative and hates tattoos and most likely wouldn’t be too impressed with my half sleeve and various others.

I think I also forgot to mention that he lives with his dad. Yes folks. And he is 32. And recently unemployed. I know how to pick the winners.

I told him I wasn’t really down with a Christian family retreat, sorry. Pretty sure his dad would also not find the fact that I am an atheist and black out frequently very cute, either.

Looking forward to tomorrow. Work has been a bear this week. A bunch of people from corporate have been lurking around , and I have had to be on my best behavior, which understandably is a difficult thing for me.

TTFN

Pump up songs of the moment:

The xx- Basic Space
JJ- Masterplan
Discovery- Orange Shirt

Currently not allowing sad sack songs onto my playlist today.