I clearly wasn’t aware how much the last sentence of my last post (in freaking September, geez louise) would ring true.
The last few months between September and now have been…almost debilitating. To the point where I couldn’t even bear the idea of putting my thoughts into words and posting them on my bloggy blog. I am currently scooping up the remains of my shattered heart and attempting to piece them back together. It’s a slow process with lots of ebbs and flows.
I really can’t get into the whole S situation because, well, I don’t want to. I don’t have it in me. There will be future posts about him I’m sure. Basically, we had a bad falling out and are no longer on civil terms. It was his choice, and was probably a good one, in retrospect. Because I would have just kept going along with whatever he offered me for lord knows how long. It’s been close to 2 months since I have seen him. And that’s that, for now.
In other news, there have been a few boys in between the whole mess of S and now. Nothing promising, nothing substantial, but god dang if a little boy attention every now and again doesn’t make for a good filler, no?
I’m at the stage now though, where I compare all traits that other boys have to that of S’s traits. It’s bad news bears. I hate that shit. I STILL have S on such a pedestal that I am disillusioned and think I will never find anyone as amazing and funny as him. Which if I sit back and actually think about it logically, I know those just aren’t the facts.
What other news do I have to share? It’s hard to catch up on 4 missing months.
I have been keeping the whole drinking copious amounts of alcohol thing real as possible. After NYE weekend (which was spent at a lake house up near where the Twilight characters fictitiously live…and what I wouldn’t give to take advantage of Taylor Lautner in the deep, dark woods) my liver and stomach and butt all wanted to disown me. I literally drank nonstop for 4 days straight and shoved practically every food known to man into my face. I didn’t think it possible for a butt to double in size in a 4 day period, but alas, it can. Be careful.
After that I’ve been toning things down a little. Last weekend only consisted of these things.
1.) Not eating at all Friday (oopsies, obvs trying to fast my butt back to it’s previous size)
2.) Meeting a guy friend, exbf and his gf at around 7pm for vodkas.
3.) Taking 4 shots and having 3 beers before 9pm.
4.) Going to next bar and immediately giving a curtsy to blackout island. Hello friend, pleasure to see you again.
5.) Making our way to dance club (don’t recall this), having my friend E buy me a drink, he asks me to dance, and instead I just make a beeline for the door and take off…? Yeah, I know, brills.
6.) Wandering the streets of popular
7.) Was convinced I lost my keys (found them in my pocket the next morning)
8.) Immediately started drunk dialing a whole slew of people, including, but never limited to S.
9.) Finally get ahold of guy friend that I was initially with. Pass out on his cold leather couch with no blanket while he goes and does blow with my roommate. (Bear in mind, I remember none of this)
10.) Woke up at 7am not knowing where the hell I was. Creep around the apartment trying to find clues. Finally realize where I am.
11.) Call friend and tell him to get back to his house so we can drink beer. He returns and we drink beer and make out all day. The end. Keepin’ it classy with a capital C!
More to come, friends, more to come. This weekend has drunk written all over it.
pump up songs of the moment:
Vampire Weekend- Cousins
Glass Candy- Beatific
Memory Tapes- Stop Talking
Currently not allowing myself to listen to sad sack songs.
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