Here we go

How does one go about starting a blog? I should know since I have read like 8000 of them, but it's definitely a different side of the fence when you are writing your own.

I am Betty. This blog will predominantly be about my breakup with S. At least for the time being anyhow, because i'm currently obsessed and ridiculous about the whole situation. S broke up with me almost exactly 2 months ago and now we are doing the "still seeing each other when it's convenient for him, but are not actually a couple...god forbid I even mention being a couple" rollercoaster ride.

It's not fun.

At first I was okay with it because I honestly blame myself for a large chunk of the breakup and have lot's of regrets about things that occured while were together. He needed a break, he needed some time, he needed to think. Fine, fine and fine.

I have been going to therapy and spending a lot of time alone, which is good. I feel good. I realize many of my mistakes and what I need to change to have a healthy, functional relationship. And he recognizes all this. He KNOWS that i can be different and things can be different and we love each other and are so f'ing compatible, but now he is in the zone where he is doing whatever he wants all the time and he knows I am still here, waiting. And i think he kind of likes that zone.

But for me, it sucks. I have been patient and have given him the time and space he needs, respectively. But now I feel like he is either going to let me actually make the changes and go forward with this TOGETHER, or we need to just let go and move on.

So I started this blog to keep track of events and possibly get some outsider, non biased advice. I want to be able to keep track of text messages and e-mails and the like. I feel like I am on the brink of being pathetic with the whole situation and that's really not where I want to be. Or if I am there, I want to be able to at least blog about it to entertain people.

Sad sack album of the moment: Band of Horses, Funeral