I know there are other guys out there who would mesh well with me. I’m not disillusioned into thinking S is the only soulmate out there for me. The whole notion of soulmates, in my humble opinion, is hogwash.

For crying out loud, S is a scumbag. He is dirty, he gets paint everywhere, including all over my bedroom and his clothing. And he still continues to wear the paint crusted clothing. Forever. He doesn’t shower everyday and his hair gets greasy and he doesn’t get regular haircuts. He cuts it himself every so often. He is very hairy. Like hair on his back and shoulders and everywhere hairy. He isn’t very affectionate and I have a feeling he might be on the brink of being a high functioning autistic. He has a hard time accepting ever being wrong or having issues of his own. He has the tendency to be a bit of a womanizer.

But on the flip side, I can also be a scumbag. I like cleaning up his messes and helping him. His art is amazing and that makes the paint all over the place not such a big deal. I love the brown freckle in the white of his eye. He is incredibly good looking. I like teasing him for being half Mexican. He gets me. He sings with me. He jokes with me. He is silly with me. The sex is incredible and he is the most non selfish boy I have encountered. He is caring and empathetic to a fault. He is vegan and only shops at thrift stores or purchases clothes that are 100% American made. He loves our dogs and all animals, across the board. Including spiders.Yuck. Our interests and tastes are very similar and when he paints, I read. He has good taste in music. He tells me I am pretty. I have no doubt he has been faithful to me, even during this whole break up thing.

I keep telling myself alright Betty, it’s time to move on. This whole on/ off thing isn’t working for you. He must not be that into you anymore. And then I’ll get a text from him:

S- Cute that I have that metal box of yours in my office and there is a vibrator in it and a letter from Danny (first boyfriend—abusive, terrible, the whole nine)

B- A vibrator????????

S- A pink one

B- I have NO idea what the vibrator is. I have only had one ever, and it’s currently in my bedside table. You know that.

S- The letter says “you are my life and I want things to work for us. Love is a hard thing to loose. I feel we will be holding in love and not sorrow again. Please give me hope in love. I feel empty but hope for fulfullness someday by my love” and it’s written on pink paper.

B- hahahahahahaha!!! Too bad that doesn’t even make sense! He loved me so much he beat me! Wah, now I miss him! Sorry you had to find that. I am sure you are seething with jealousy now.

S- I got so mad that I punched a hole in the wall. There are also a bunch of letters from J but I didn’t read them.

B- So basically the metal box is my ex bf box? I didn’t even know. How romantic and special.

S- Actually it’s mostly nail polish.

B- That’s what I thought I used it for. I must have thrown that stuff in it randomly. The vibrator is a mystery….at least you got a little dose of Danny wisdom. Happy Friday!

On an unrelated note, someone stole my “god bless the USA” ribbon magnet off the back of my car. Guess it’s karma considering it’s a hobby of mine to steal ones that are humorous to me off of other peoples cars. Right now my “support badgirls” that I snagged of a car on the Oregon coast stands alone. Which actually makes it look like I somehow support badgirls. Or that I deem myself a badgirl.

Lastly, what is with juggalo’s? Please tell me other people have had the pleasure of experiencing this amazing phenomenon. If not, let me give a brief description of what a juggalo is. A juggalo is an individual who is a huge fan of or follows everything ICP (insane clown posse) or psychopathic records related. They dress in hot topic attire and paint their faces like clowns. Apparently it’s a lifestyle? I can’t get over it. I have been watching youtube videos nonstop and frequenting http://www.myjuggalospace.com/. Now it’s my duty to organize a juggalo themed party and make all my friends participate. I can’t wait!

Tomorrow it’s off to Portland I go for some guaranteed tom foolery. I’ll have stories on Monday, believe. Ttfn.

Pump up songs of the moment:
Basement Jaxx- Hot n cold
The Postal Service- Such great heights (john tejada remix)
Numero#- Hit Pop

Sad sack songs of the moment:
Deerhunter- Twilight at carbon Lake
OMD- If you leave
Bowerbirds- Dark Horse