One must ask…what tops the charts more?

a.) getting wasteyface and telling your exbf that you still have feelings for him and lord knows what else (the memory is extremely fuzzy with no real specifics, I just know it happened) at his current gf’s bday party

or

b.) making out with exbf’s gf. On their bed.


I truly believe that I reached a new level of amazing-ness this weekend.

I’ve done the confessing feelings thing once before to the exbf. At his last bday party. Apparently bday parties make me nostalgic? All I know is that in real sober life, Betty does not want her exbf back. In real sober life, Betty doesn’t even think about her exbf.

Don’t get me wrong, he really is a wonderful person. He is like, 100% my ideal kind of boy. But I moved on a long time ago. That ship has sailed.

I think a couple things contributed to my behavior. For one, booze. Booze clouds the thoughts. Second, him and her on separate occasions throughout the night told me how unhappy they are in the relationship. She wants marriage and kids. He doesn’t. She even at one point said she might just have to stop taking her birth control pills. Which was said in a joking manner, but obviously had some seriousness to it.

Anyways, my costume was embarrassing. I was under the impression that people would be dressed in character from 80’s movies. All the girls were in leotards with side pony tails. And then there is me dressed in full on goblin king attire. After about an hour I was back in my skinny jeans and mates of state band t-shirt. I forgot that lame, uncreative girls wear lame, uncreative costumes. I should have known better.

And now on to S matters.

I had texted him last Thursday telling him I got free tickets to bumbershoot ( an event in Seattle with a bunch of bands) and wanted to know if he wanted a couple. No response. I texted him again, which also got no response. I started to worry, because he at least usually replies to me. He FINALLY replied to me this morning and claimed he was sick with the flu and that’s why he hadn’t replied to me. Weird, I guess I didn’t get the memo stating that the flu prevents you from looking at your phone and that your fingers become paralyzed.

We are going to dinner tomorrow because I am a pathetic jackass. Although I fully intend on telling him that if he has no interest in “us” anymore, that I would like to move on and start dating. We will see how that goes.